Worry is
such a crippling emotion. It virtually
strips us of our ability to deal with situations effectively by creating
imaginary scenarios which no matter how hard you try, you’d struggle to find a
way out of. Why? Because they haven’t
happened!
Worry is
created when we take an actual situation, issue or problem and then imagine all
the possible things that could go wrong.
Usually when we begin worrying, nothing wrong has actually happened, we
just create negative scenarios in our minds, usually as vivid, large, bright,
noisy videos in our heads that we run over and over again with more and more
imagined horrific endings, all of which haven’t actually happened and indeed
probably will never happen! The more
negative thoughts we have, the more negative thoughts come to us.
When I talk
this through with clients, they usually say something like, “Well if I don’t
plan for the worst case then it could take me by surprise and I’d be left high
and dry and devastated. My reply,
“There’s a huge difference between worrying about imagined scary scenarios and
actually making plans.”
Can you
hear the difference in the language?
Worry is ‘Victim’ behaviour, whereas planning is ‘Owner’ behaviour. When we worry, we lose the ability to plan
and see things clearly. I absolutely
advocate having an action plan, it’s a wonderful way to combat those worrying
thoughts. But that plan should be based
on what you know about your situation NOW and what you can do about it NOW and
not based on all the dreadful things that you think may happen in the future.
After all,
think back to some of the most trying times you’ve been through in your life(we’ve
all had them), has there ever been a time when you haven’t come through the
other side? Was there ever a time when
you really couldn’t cope? It may have
been difficult at the time and extremely uncomfortable, but whatever obstacles
you’ve been up against in your life, you came through them. How do I know that with such certainty? Well you wouldn’t be sitting here reading
this!
It doesn’t
matter what happens to you, it doesn’t matter how stressed, depressed, anxious
or scared you are, you will always find a way to deal with a problem and
because I think this point is so important, I’m going to say it again:
YOU
WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY THROUGH!
You always
have and you always will and no amount of worrying about it will make one bit
of difference to the outcome.
So the next
time you find yourself worrying about something that may happen in the future, either park it or plan for it in a calm,
focussed way and tell yourself that whatever happens you will deal with it!
As always,
if you have anything that you’d like to discuss in confidence, please do not
hesitate to contact me at info@whatnextconsultancy.co.uk
Have a
wonderful weekend.
Jo
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