The Law of Attraction - An Overview

Although an avid devote of the Law of Attraction for many years, I haven’t chosen to write about it thus far.  But as I keep proving that it works over and over again for mef and because I still keep coming across people who haven’t heard about it, I thought it was a topic that it would be remise of me not to cover.

For most people, the extent of their knowledge about the Law of Attraction is either zero or what they’ve read in Rhonda Byrne’s fabulous books ‘The Secret’ and ‘The Power’ and the film ‘The Secret’.  If you haven’t read them, then they are probably the 2 books that I recommend people begin with when they first start to explore ‘Attraction’ as a concept and I’ve lost count of the number of these books I’ve bought for people who I think they would benefit.  However, whilst these two books are really good, they really are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to studying the subject and boy have I studied it.  I think it’s a shame that most people stop their studying there and think these books are the ultimate when it comes to the Law of Attraction because they’re missing so much good stuff.

I think must have  read the majority of books out there on the subject right from the earliest New Thought Authors who began writing about this back at the turn of the century, writers like ‘Wallace Wattles’ (The Science of Getting Rich, the Science of Being Great and the Science of Being Well) Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich – you can get your free copy of this classic by signing up to my newsletter – click here) though to modern day experts like Eckhart Tolle, Joe Vitale, Tony Robins, Dr Wayne W Dyer and Joseph Murphy, to name but a few.

So for the uninitiated, what is the Law of Attraction?

The law of attraction is a principle that I’ve mentioned many times but not actually referred to as the ‘Law of Attraction’ and in very basic terms:

“We get what we think about/thoughts become things”

The more negative thoughts we have, the more negative thoughts come to us and the more positive thoughts we have the more positive thoughts come and it doesn’t end there (you’ve heard my say this a million times).  According to the  Law of Attraction, the more negative things we think about, the more negative things (people, situations) we actually attract into our lives, equally the more positive things we think about, the more positive things we attract into our lives.

This can be a bit hard to comprehend when you’re first starting to grips with this concept, because in effect what it’s saying is that the life you have right now, both the good and the bad bits, have been created by you through your thoughts and emotions. 

Now, if you life is great when fabulous!  However, if your life is not so great it can be hard to hear that you’re responsible for what you’ve got through your thoughts, emotions and actions.  Now, what I’d like to add to this is something that I found really important with Dr Wayne Dyer’s brilliant book ‘The Power of Intent’ - you must not beat yourself up if you find your life ‘lacking’ in any way, because when you attracted that situation/person/problem into your life, you weren’t aware of the law of attraction, so you didn’t know that you’re thoughts and emotions where attracting negative situations to appear in your life.  However, you know now and the sooner you can change your thoughts from negative to positive, the quicker your life will change for the better. 

This ‘law’ is an accepted fact by Quantum Physicists, so don’t think I’ve gone completely mad!   So how does it work?  Well, we are electrical beings, we are made up of electricity.  If you look at any part of our internal or external body through a powerful microscope you’ll see that we aren’t solid at all but a constant moving mass.  Same goes for our thoughts – they are electricity.  When we have a thought, it actually produces an electrical impulse in the brain (which is incredibly easy to measure in a lab) and the interesting part is that negative and positive thoughts have different wavelengths.  When we have a thought, positive or negative, it sends an electrical impulse out from our bodies and attracts back other thoughts, situations people etc that are on the same wavelength we are transmitting.

By the law of attraction, what we put out, we must get back, without exception so put out positive, get back positive and vice versa and it doesn’t stop at just receiving back the same type of thoughts.  You can actually attract what you want into your life.  I’ve got to be truthful, when I first read this I did think it was a load of rubbish, however, the more I’ve studied it over the years and practised it, the more I know that it’s true.

Exercise

Here’s a little exercise (this works every time for me without exception and I use it daily)

The next time you are going somewhere and you think there may be an issue with parking, either before you set out or as you get into the car, visualise a car parking space exactly where you want one.  Ask for it (you don’t have to say anything out loud, you can ask for it silently) and remember to say thank you – then let that thought go.  You’ll find that when you arrive at your destination either the space you imagined will be waiting for you or will become available within a minute or so.

I kid you not.  It’s uncanny.  Give it a go, after all, when have you got to lose?

There is so much I could write about regarding the Law of Attraction, like I say, there are so many books on it so it’s difficult to cover it all in one post, however, I will discuss other aspects that I think may be of benefit in subsequent posts.  As always, please feel free to comment below or mail me if you have a question or something that you require help with.  Until next time, have a fabulous week.

Jo

EFT - Dealing with Anxiety

Taking a break from the job hunting theme of the last few posts, I wanted to share something with you that you may not have come across before and from your feedback about other posts I've done I know that some of you will benefit immensely from. 

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or ‘Tapping’ is becoming increasingly popular in the self development/self help world because it can be used to quickly and easily alleviate and remove the blocks and help release the negative thoughts and feelings that hold us back from achieving our full potential. 

EFT is based on the discovery that imbalances in the body's energy system have profound effects on your personal psychology (kind of in the same way that acupuncture works). Correcting these imbalances, which is done by tapping on certain body locations, often leads to rapid remedies.

You need to suspend any scepticism and give it a go.  I was very sceptical despite my chosen profession, but every time I try EFT myself I always notice a huge positive change in my feelings, thoughts and emotions.  My clients have also reported the same.  Some have told me that they’ve experienced massive positive changes in their emotions especially when they are experiencing more severe negative emotions such as anxiety or fear/panic.

I originally got hold of an e-book written by Gary Craig who ‘invented’ EFT or at least brought it to the fore in the self development world, but that seemed a bit complicated so I searched YouTube to see if I could find a video on it.  Low and behold, I found loads and I’ve tested quite a few out but find that Brad Yates seems to be the best by far.  He has literally dozens of videos based on different subjects/common issues that people have which last between 5 and 15 minutes each.

I do have to stress that when you choose which ‘issue’ you want to tap on; don’t be surprised if it brings up some negative emotions that you weren’t even aware that you had and you may find yourself getting quite upset (not always, but I think it's important to point out).  Its part of the EFT process and is extremely normal and as you work through those emotions with the tapping and repeating what Brad says, those intense emotions will soon dissolve.  Honestly, it really is amazing, just stick with it.

My advice is to rate the intensity of the emotion you are feeling from 1-10 (10 being as strong as it gets) and then rate the feeling again after you’ve done the tapping.  If after the tapping the emotions is more still more than 4, go through the tapping again.

A very small selection of the topics that Brad taps on that I and my clients have found most useful are:

·         Anxiety

·         Fear and panic

·         What Other People Think

·         Trauma and Abuse

·         Clearing Resistance (to literally anything, you alter the wording to suit you)

·         Allowing Money

·         Exercise motivation

·         Positive Expectation

·         Clearing Guilt and Shame

Here’s just one of his videos and I know this one works particularly well for if you're experiencing anxiety.  When you get that tight 'flight or fight' feeling in your chest or stomach that makes it hard to breathe this is a particularly good exercise to completely remove those awful feelings.  As I said, it looks really odd, but give it a go and if you find it helps, search for his other videos on YouTube.  Do what Brad does and repeat the words after him.  You can substitute or add your own words about the particular issue you are feeling anxious about.  That helps even more.

 

I’d love it if you could let me know how you get on if you decide to give it a go.  Just click the comment box below and leave me a message.  I'll continue to scatter Brad's videos through different posts as I feel appropriate as I'm sure that will help a great many of you.

Have a wonderful week.

Jo

5 Job Hunting Top Tips

 

 

Recruitment and selection has changed considerably over the last couple of years and I’ve seen a massive change in not only where and how companies advertise but in the standard of applications they are now expecting.

It’s true that there are fewer jobs around, but companies are still recruiting and the biggest challenge for job hunters is that competition is greater and therefore, they need to know how to get the edge over their competition and it’s not always big things that make the difference.

I’ve prepared a short series covering some of the top tips from my ‘Land Your Dream Job’ e-programme and from my up-coming book of the same name.  In this post, we’ll look at starting your job hunt:

 

Starting Your Job Hunt

 

1.   Use your network

Recent studies have shown that approximately 70% of people now get their next roles through the people that they already know.  I found that quite astounding when I first heard it, but having recently managed a large outplacement/redeployment project for 600 people who were due to be made redundant, I can probably agree with it.

It’s really important that you let everyone know that you’re looking for a job as long as it won’t impact negatively if you’re currently employed.  One thing I hear over and over is that people feel often ashamed if they’ve been made redundant and somehow think that it’s a reflection on them and their ability.  Let me state for the record THERE’S NO STIGMA ATTACHED TO BEING MADE REDUNDANT! Literally everyone I know has been affected by redundancy at least once in their lives, it’s not personal, it’s business and in no way reflects badly on you.   

The more people who know you need a job and what kind of job you’re looking for, the more likely they are to find it for you.  Also it’s not usually the people who are closest to you (immediate family and friends) that the roles originate from but those who you see less frequently or who are casual acquaintances and that’s because they will usually move in different circles to you and will be open to and hear about different opportunities to you.

So remember to TELL PEOPLE YOU NEED A JOB AND WHAT JOB YOU WANT.

 

2.   Be positive

Nobody wants to listen to people who are moaning about their current situation (either that they hate their job, boss, company, life or are totally devastated by being made redundant) and as a Success Coach Michael Neill always says, “desperation smells” and people run a mile from it.

 

No matter how you’re feeling (and I’ve done posts about changing your emotions) when telling people about your need for a new job, you must keep upbeat and positive.  People will be much more likely to help you if you’re positive.

 

3.   Ignore the current ‘Recession Obsession’ and ‘Doom Mongers’

I hear so many people say, “Oh woe is me, there are no jobs out there it says so on the TV and in the papers – everyone knows that if you’re out of work you’ll never get a job or if you do it’ll take forever.  With all the unemployed out there how will I ever find work ... bla bla bla”

What a load of old rubbish!  Like I said in the opening, there are still plenty of jobs out there, you just have to be more tenacious, work a bit harder, be creative and try different job search methods and things that you may not have had to consider before.

If you are job searching, I urge you to not watch the news or read the newspapers for a while or if you do, don’t take anything that’s said literally, let it go over your head.  What most people don’t realise is that the news is full of sensationalism designed to suck us in and shock us.  We are so desensitised these days that the only way news programmes can hold our attention is by telling us how dreadful things are.  Have you noticed that they usually only throw one ‘feel good’ article in a news programme at the very end?  That’s because they know that horror, negativity and sensationalism sells.  In addition to this don’t forget they’re all in competition with each other to see who can push the boundaries and get the most viewers.

You must also watch out for and ignore what I call the ‘Doom Mongers’ around you.  You know those people who are continually negative (I have a friend who calls them ‘Mood Hoovers’).  You need to stay away from those people as much as possible during your job search.  You need to keep as positive as possible and if you spend too much time with these people, you’ll feel your good mood ebbing away pretty quickly.  Also, keep in your mind that what they are saying (if you must listen to it) isn’t personal, they are just reflecting back their own fears – don’t take them on board.

 

4.   Take consistent action

Job hunting takes effort, sustained effort.  Therefore, it’s important that you take some action (at least one hour 5 days a week) on your job search.  You may need to do more than this in the very early stages, especially whilst you're creating your CV.  Most of my clients report back to me saying that they feel like it’s a full time job! 

It doesn’t have to be full time, but like anything else, the more effort you put in the better the results you will get.

 

5.   Use various job search methods

Don’t just think you’ve done some networking your dream job will plop in your lap.  Certainly I have known that happen, but you really need to try a good combination of, if not all of the following job search methods:

o   Networking

o   LinkedIn (Facebook for the business world)

o   Recruitment Consultants/Agencies

o   On-line recruitment sites

o   On-line company job sites (most large companies have their own dedicated on-line job sites

o   Speculative applications

o   Job Centre (for roles under £25,000)

o   Newspapers/Trade Press (hard copies or on-line job sections of their websites)

         

In future posts I'll be talking more about job hunting, CV writing and interview skills.  In the meantime, if you are considering looking for a new role, you may wish to visit my new website dedicated to career management www.land-your-dream-job.co.uk.

See you next time.

Jo

Newsletter Update - Free Book!

I have an apology to make, it has only just come to my notice that sign up form that I have been using for readers to register for my Newsletter has an error in it and unfortunately, it has not been capturing subscriber's details.

Therefore, as an apology and in hope that if you did originally sign up and would do so again or if you haven't done in the past but you would like to now, I am offering a FREE download copy of the wonderful classic 'Law of Attraction' book by Napoleon Hill - Think and Grow Rich.  Although the language takes a little getting used to, it's still a marvellous book and well worth a read.

Again, I hope you accept my sincere apologies for any inconvenience caused and thank you in advance for your subscriptions.

Jo

PS Thank you to those of you who have given me feedback on my new 'Land Your Dream Job' programme and have forwarded or shared the information.  I really appreciate your support.

Land Your Dream Job!

Huge apologies for the prolonged absence, contrary to the common belief that I’ve taken the summer off, I’ve actually been working on quite an exciting project that I’d like to share with you. 

I’ve now created a new arm to my business that is dedicated to ‘Landing Your Dream Job’.

As regular readers will know, I’ve spent nearly 20 years of my career in Human Resources and recruitment and selection has always been a large part of my role.  In fact, over the years I’ve literally interviewed thousands of people for roles ranging from shop floor workers to senior executives.

As you can imagine, over those years I’ve seen a lot of good interviews and well, to put it bluntly, diabolical interviews and I have been recently been able utilise my experiences during a 15 month redeployment/outplacement programme that I managed for a large corporate business (helping people who were about to be made redundant find roles either within their current business or externally). 

During that time the team and I delivered a programme to over 600 people with wonderful results.  Following on from that, I have now designed an amazing e-programme based on my 20 years experience as a recruiter and from the feedback from those 600 people, creating an easy to follow, step by step guide to getting your perfect job.  The programme is packed full of hints and tips that can make all the difference in a competitive job search environment.

The programme consists of 8 Seminar Films with documents for you to download which accompany the seminars.  I wanted to differentiate this from the other services I provide so have created a brand new website designed especially for people who are looking for their next role http://www.land-your-dream-job.co.uk  I’m hoping to create a feedback forum and potentially a job based blog at some point with the aim of encouraging job seekers to build a community where they can support each other whilst they’re going through their job search.

For a limited period I’m offering the e-programme at a reduced price, so if you know anyone who is searching for their next role, whether they've been made redundant, returning work after a break or simply looking for their next career move, then please feel free to forward on the details.  You can find all the information you need on the programme including how to purchase it online by clicking this link.  Alternatively, you may wish to watch the programme overview YouTube video below (I’ve used the format that I use in the Seminars, so you get a taste of what you can expect from the full programme).

If you have any queries regarding ‘Land Your Dream Job’ or any of the other services I provide, please feel free to contact me.  Oh, and you may want to check out my regular website www.whatnextconsultancy.co.uk ... that’s had a bit of an overhaul too!

Until next time, take care and have fun.

Jo

Healing through Self-Hypnosis

I have something that I wanted to share with you that’s actually quite personal but I hope that by telling you about it, I may be able to help others in a similar situation.

Just before Christmas 2011, my father was diagnosed as having prostate cancer.  Obviously we were devastated at the time.  We knew nothing about it then and just hearing the ‘C’ word sent us into a spin.  The hospital told my dad that they didn’t want to operate at that point, but would continue to monitor him on a 3 month basis and gave him an appointment to return to the hospital for further blood tests at the end of March 2012.

I knew my dad was more upset about the diagnosis than he was admitting, and the only thing I could think of to help was to download a couple of Andrew Johnson’s wonderful self hypnosis MP3s for him to listen to.  I’m a big fan of Andrew, his Apps and MP3 downloads really do what they say on the tin and for my dad, I thought that if nothing else they would help him to relax a bit more.  The MP3s I downloaded for him where ‘Healing’ and ‘Positivity’ and I bought him a little portable CD player to play them on.

My dad started to listen to them quite often and he said that he really did feel more positive and less stressed as a result.  He was really optimistic that the results from his next hospital appointment would reflect how he was feeling.  However, when he got the results from his next set of tests, he was shocked to find out that his blood count had gone up (we were all convinced that with all the positive thinking that it would have gone down).  It knocked my dad for the rest of that day, however, the next day he resolved to be even more positive and to listen to the CDs at least 3 times a day (morning, afternoon and before bed) which he stuck to religiously from that day forward.

Today, my dad has had his next 3 month check up at the hospital and I’m pleased to say that his blood count has gone down considerably.  The nurse asked him how he was finding the medication and if he was happy with it, he replied, “What medication?  I haven’t had any.  I’ve just been listening to CDs my daughter gave me”.  Apparently, he should have been taking medication (although the hospital neglected to give it to him) and the nurse attributed the drop in his blood count to the medication – she was amazed when he told her that medication had nothing to do with it, but listening to Andrew’s self hypnosis had.

In addition to this fantastic news, my dad has also suffered from very high blood pressure for years (he takes medication for it but it’s always remained high).  Last week he went to the doctors for a check up and she told him that his blood pressure had gone down from 140 (where it’s been for the last 5 years) to 127.  The doctor was amazed and asked him what he’d been doing to get his blood pressure so low and in the ‘healthy’ category.  My dad proudly told her that he was listening to self hypnosis CDs!  

When you ask my dad how he’s feeling now, I’m pleased to say that he’ll tell you that he’s never felt so well and so positive and has never slept so soundly as he has since he’s been listening to those CDs.

Andrew has a range of Apps (available from the App Store in ITunes) or as MP3 downloads from his website (http://www.withandrewjohnson.com/ ) including:

Success

Stress Free

Procrastination

Get Fit

Lose Weight

Confidence

Don’t Panic

Stop Smoking

Move On

Procrastination

.... plus more.

I can’t recommend them highly enough.  With sustained listening, you can really make a positive difference to your life and they aren’t expensive (but worth every penny).

Until next time, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  I know I will after the good news I’ve received today!

Jo

PS In case you were wondering, Andrew hasn’t sponsored this in any way and I’m sure there are other good self hypnosis Apps/CDs out there.  I just wanted to share because I have proof that they work and I thought some of you may find this information helpful.

Be Happy!

There seems to be a bit of an epidemic going on in the world – people think that they are going be happy "when...

“I get my new house”

“I get my new car”

“I find a husband/wife”

“I get a new job”

“My children go to University”

“I’m earning more money”

“I can afford to go on holiday/get that new couch/get a new kitchen/finish the house/buy what I want”

Now here’s the shocker, your happiness does not depend on any of those things.  Your happiness is right inside you right now; you just need to look for it.  What happens when we think “I’ll be happy when...” is that you project your happiness into the future.  When you are so busy being focussed on the future, you aren’t able to enjoy what’s happening now.

What also happens when we project our happiness into the future is that the happiness we think we will have tomorrow never comes.  Whether we realise it or not, we create strong neural pathways in the brain ie we condition our minds to believe that happiness is always in the future.  So when you actually do get that new house/car/husband/wife, your mind still believes that happiness is in the future and so your ‘happiness goals’ change eg “I’ll be happy when I get a second house in the country/a bigger car/two cars/an even better job” etc.

Look back at the things that you thought would make you happy.  Did they?  If they did, how long did that happiness last until you were looking for the next thing that would make you happy?  You’d be surprised how many unhappy/depressed millionaires there are out there. You hear in the press all the time about this or that millionaire film star/musician etc suffering from depression and ending up in rehab.  They have every material thing they could ever wish for (and more) and yet they are still unhappy.

HAPPINESS COMES FROM WITHIN

So how do we find out happiness right now?  Stop, stop and look around you.  Look at the good things you have in your life right now.  Get into the habit of thinking about them, giving thanks for them and loving them.  When I’ve said this to some of my more negative clients, you’d be surprised at how many times I end up in the following dialogue with them:

“There’s nothing good in my life”

“Really? So you don’t like your children - they aren't 'good'?”

“Well, yeah, of course they are”

“So you don’t like your house/your parents/your friends and you didn’t like the holiday you’ve just been on?”

“Well yeah, of course I do/did”

“So you don’t like good weather/socialising with lovely friends/walking in the country/your hobbies?”

“Well I suppose I do”

“But you’ve just said there’s nothing good in your life!”

“Well I haven’t got enough money”

“OK, but you do have good things in your life?”

“Yes, I suppose I do”

What I then do is get that person to really think about the things that they love and are grateful for.  This is the exercise with them (read through the exercise once before you start it):

Exercise

1. Think of all the things you love in your life
2. Make up little movies in your mind of you doing or being with those things eg a walk in the park on a sunny day with your children/sitting or lying on a sundrenched beach in the Caribbean (that’s my particular favourite)/having a fabulous meal with your favourite friends – whatever works for you
3. Make those movies as bright, colourful, big and noisy as possible
4. Replay each of your mini movies back to back, over and over again
5. Repeat this exercise as many times as you can during the day (especially when you get any negative thoughts appearing – it’s a wonderful technique removing those)

When you do this (and it only takes a couple of minutes each time you do it) you will start to feel good instantly.  Two things happen when you do this exercise:

1. The mind can’t tell the difference between something that’s real and imagined – therefore when you repeatedly play your movies, you will automatically create the good feelings that go with the good thoughts
2. You create new neural pathways in the brain that associate feeling good and feeling happy NOW instead of sometime in the future (that never comes)

As these are your movies, no-one ever needs to know that you are playing them or what they are.  You can play them at any time and they will always increase your feelings of well being and happiness.  Also, because of the new neural pathways you will be creating, the more you play them, the more easily you will be able to play them.  Thinking of your happy movies will become instant the more you practise and therefore, the associated good feelings will become instant too.

In Summary

Our happiness isn’t in the future, it’s now.  While you’re projecting your happiness into the future you are missing out on happiness now.  So start to look at all the good things that you have in your life now and be thankful for them.  Make it a habit to look for the things that you love, you can do this any time anywhere, when you’re driving, doing the dishes, cooking, walking.  When you make this part of your daily routine, you’ll find that a new world of possibilities opens up and your world becomes a much more positive place to live in.

As always, if you have any comments on this or any other post please let me know.  Until next time, have a wonderful week.

Jo

Sleep Well - Part 2

Further to my previous post regarding solving ad hoc sleep issues, today I’d like to discuss how to manage long term sleep issues (including insomnia) and resetting your sleep cycle.

As I discussed previously, long term sleeplessness begins with waking the odd night and not dealing with it appropriately.  Left unchecked, it’s amazing how quickly your body will adjust and create a new sleep pattern/cycle, one that can actually be extremely detrimental to your health and well being.

The way to tackle long term sleep problems is to create a brand new sleep pattern (well, it was easy to create the old unhelpful one, so by the same token it’s easy to create a new helpful one).   

There are three steps to this and each step must be done religiously if you are to achieve a new sleep cycle – and that means at weekends too.  I know we are all used to sleeping in at weekends (or that’s what most of us aspire to) however, you have to do each of these 3 steps every single day for a few weeks in order to achieve the sleep pattern you desire. 

Step 1

Get up half an hour earlier than your normal waking time.

If you usually get up at 7.00 am, set your alarm and get up at 6.30 am every day (including weekends) WITHOUT FAIL.  I know this may seem hard if you haven’t been getting enough sleep, but in clinical trials it has proved to be the single most effective thing that you can do to cure insomnia.

One of the reasons for this is that if your body gets used to making up for lost sleep in the morning, then it doesn’t prepare properly for sleep in the evening.  On the whole, you can’t always choose when you go to sleep, however, you absolutely can choose when you wake up.  When you shift your waking time, the rest of your sleeping pattern has to reset too.

In order to help you with this, write down the time that you want to wake up and put it at the side of your bed (what gets written down gets done is definitely true in this instance), set your alarm clock to that time, say the time that you want to wake up to yourself before you settle down to sleep.  Doing this will help programme your subconscious and you will notice that you start to wake up just before your alarm goes off.  It’s a very reliable way to wake yourself up if you don’t have an alarm clock too – you don’t need to just use this technique for when you’re resetting your sleep cycle.

Step 2

Only go to bed when you’re tired

Most of us go to bed when we think we should, not when we’re tired then spend a couple of hours wide awake.  What you need to do is keep yourself busy until you feel tired.  Read a book, clean the house, whatever you want to do, do it until you’re actually tired.  When your body needs to sleep, it will tell you.  You simply can’t force it.

After a few days of only going to bed when you’re tired and getting up early, your body clock will very quickly reset itself and you’ll find that you need to go to bed earlier and earlier.

Step 3

Don’t nap during the day

Napping during the day only reduces your need for sleep at night, so it’s really important that you stay awake during the day.  No matter how hard you find it to keep your eyes open, resist.  Get up, go for a walk, do something in the house – just do something that keeps you busy.

Other top tips for a better sleep:

Take regular exercise

Exercise is wonderful for helping you sleep.  Once you’ve done some exercise (and I’m not talking about running a marathon here – just a walk around the block is better than nothing) your body releases endorphins which are often described as the happy hormone and give you a ‘feel good factor’.  They help calm the nerves and reduce stress and therefore, help you sleep better.

Avoid stimulants

Avoid drinking tea, coffee and alcohol before you go to bed.  These substances stimulate the mind and body which can lead to broken sleep patterns.  Instead, have a hot, milky drink half an hour before you want to go to bed.  This will help to relax and calm you down rather than get your heart racing as the stimulants would.

Have a bath in the evening

If you have children, you’ll know that bathing your child at night is an important part of their bedtime routine.  Again, it relaxes the body and let’s your subconscious know that it should be preparing your body for sleep.

Avoid violent films and video games

Watching violent films and playing video games before bedtime will again stimulate the brain (often leading to nightmares).  During the time you are working on your new sleep pattern, avoid these activities.  Instead read books/magazines and avoid having your TV on in the bedroom, it will distract you and upset your sleep pattern.  During the couple of weeks you are working on your sleep cycle, you should remove your TV from the bedroom (if you have one), you will be less likely to turn it on if you wake in the middle of the night which will stimulate your brain causing you to be wide awake.

Well I hope you find these tips and hints useful.  If you wish to read up further on how to sleep better then I suggest you read Paul McKenna’s ‘I can make you sleep’.  Not only is it full of useful information, but it also comes with a free self hypnosis CD which if you play each night will help you re-set your sleep cycle and aid peaceful sleep.

Until next time, have a wonderful day and as always, if you’d like to discuss any issues you may have regarding this or any other topic, please feel free to contact me for a free no obligation chat on how I can help you.

Jo

Sleep Well - Part 1

Lately, it seems that there isn’t a day that goes by without seeing a post on my personal Facebook page from one of my friends who has woken up at “daftoclock.com” and “cantsleep.com”.  Being unable to sleep seems to be quite an epidemic at the moment.   The time that most people seem to be waking with regularity is between 3 and 4 o’clock and they struggle to get back to sleep, only to drift off 10 minutes before the alarm goes off.  However, when the alarm does go off, they find it really difficult to wake up and seem to wander around the rest of the day in a trance like state.  Sound familiar?

Let’s look firstly at why it seems to be consistently between 3/4 o’clock. 

The Sleep Cycle

There are 3 phases to our sleep pattern:

1.     Light sleep – this is the sleep you fall into when you first drift off.  Our brainwaves are quick and if you were to be hooked up to an EEG and someone mentioned your name, there would be a sharp spike in your wave pattern.

2.     Slow wave – the brainwaves are much slower and even.  We usually enter this pattern about 20 minutes after falling asleep and stay in it for around 2 hours.  In these two hours our bodies rejuvenate and take the opportunity to repair itself (including our immune systems).  This part of sleep is vital for our health and wellbeing.

3.     REM or Rapid Eye Movement – this is when most of our dreaming occurs and our eyes can be seen to move beneath our eyelids (hence the title).  This sleep pattern leads to improved performance of learned tasks and the subconscious uses this time to organise and file new tasks and patterns learned the previous day.  This is the lightest sleep pattern and if you wake quickly from it, you’ll usually be able to remember your dreams quite clearly.

During the night, for the first few hours, we move between light and slow wave and then move to alternating between light, slow and REM.  When you follow the pattern, it shows that about 3 hours into sleep, we move from our essential 2 hours of slow wave to a short light sleep and then a short REM – it’s at that point that most people seem to wake up instead of going into another light sleep followed by slow wave.  So what causes it?  It can be anything, however, alcohol and stress/anxiety are the usual culprits.

Now, there are two distinct types of waking during sleep (actually there are more if you count clinical diagnosis such as sleep apnoea, but I’m just going to cover the two most common types in these posts): 

1.     Occasional waking – on the odd occasion or for a short period of time you wake up, start worrying/thinking and can’t get back to sleep.  This is usually when you have something particular on your mind that you are worried or anxious about.

2.     Habitual waking – this is when your waking turns into a habit ie you wake at the same time every night for a week or more.  This may have started with occasional waking and subsequently (because you haven’t dealt with it)  it’s turned into a habit and your body/mind thinks that’s what you’re supposed to do – in effect, you’ve trained it to be that way.

The first type has a couple of rather simple solutions, the second (which I’ll discuss tomorrow) takes a little more work to resolve, but it isn’t difficult. 

Occasional Waking

As I described earlier, we usually wake when we are in REM sleep.  What causes us to wake is usually that while our subconscious mind is trying to figure out what happened to us during the previous day and is filing the information in different boxes in our mind (that’s the easiest non technical way of describing it so that everyone understands the way the mind processes information), it will come across something that it can’t categorise (it’s usually something that you’ve been worrying about and haven’t dealt with the previous day) and therefore, it doesn’t know where to file it.  That ‘shock’ (for want of a better word) wakes you up so that your conscious mind can deal with it, so that when you go back to sleep again, your subconscious mind can file it.

It’s quite a different concept if you haven’t thought of it before, but it’s absolutely true.  The solution to it is twofold:

1.     Always keep a notepad and a pen by the side of the bed.  When you wake up with a start in the middle of the night worrying about something, write that thing down immediately.  Then settle back down and you will drift off to sleep again.  By writing the issue(s) down, you are informing your subconscious mind that you have dealt with the problem therefore, it will allow you to fall asleep again.

2.     If you action point 1 but are still awake, then as I’ve said in numerous posts – STOP THINKING ABOUT THE THING YOUR WORRYING ABOUT!  You can choose your thoughts, you don’t have to think anything negative unless you want to.  Choose to think about something that’s positive/that you love eg your children, your house, your possessions, your parents, your next holiday/your last holiday, lying on a sun-drenched beach – whatever works for you.  List as many good things/things that you love in your life/things that make you happy as you possibly can (a bit like counting sheep, but a lot more positive).  By doing that, you shift your thinking away from the negative thoughts you were having, to positive ones.  I know that it sometimes seems harder in the middle of the night (everything feels worse at that dead hour), but you can still do it.  You have control over your thoughts – they don’t have to be negative.

These are two very simple things that you can do to help with your occasional waking.  Tomorrow I’ll give you 3 key steps to solving longer term/habitual waking (including insomnia).  Until then, have a great day and sleep well.

Jo