There is a massively close link between our physiology (how
we hold our bodies/our facial expressions/tone of voice etc) and our emotions. Our
physiology goes far beyond our just body language and is a true indicator of
how we are feeling. In fact, our physiology and our emotions are
inextricably linked that if we want to immediately change our ‘state’ (how we
are feeling) we can do it rapidly through changing our physiology.
Let me explain; if I said to you, “Behind that door is
someone who is incredibly depressed, tell me how they look” You would be
likely to say that their shoulders are slumped, they are looking down, their
gestures are laboured, their breaking is shallow and they keep sighing.
If I said, “Behind that door is someone who is happy and excited, how do they
look?” You would say that they are animated, they have a big smile on their
face, they are standing up straight with their shoulders back and their tone is
sharp and quick” ... It’s very easy to guess what someone is feeling by their
physiology.
Now, the fantastic thing about actually knowing this is that
in any moment you can actually change your emotions by changing your physiology.
It really is that simple. We cannot, no matter how hard we try, display
the physiology of one emotion whilst feeling another ie we cannot feel
depressed whilst we display positive/happy physiology. We cannot feel tired whilst
we display energic/non tired physiology, it’s impossible!
When I first came across this concept, I remember I’d done a
14 hour day and was driving home thinking of how tired I was and how much I had
to do when I got in. I remember groaning to myself and thinking, “How am
I going to get all that done when I’m so tired … and I have to be up again at
5.30 am, it's 9.30 pm now and I still have loads to do!” Then I remembered about changing physiology to change my
emotions. I then noticed my body language and I was aware that I was a little slumped in my
seat, with my shoulders drooped, I was frowning and my mouth was turned down
and I kept huffing and puffing and I was think of the tasks ahead with dread. I
immediately sat up straight, put my shoulders back, took a big deep breath in
and … smiled.
Wow, what a difference it made! I felt far more
energised and the tasks ahead seemed far less daunting and I’ve got to be
honest, I was astonished. Had I not tried it, I wouldn’t have believed
that something so effective could be so simple. The next morning when the
alarm went off, instead of moaning and groaning and getting annoyed at the
alarm, I sat up in bed, took a big deep breath in and smiled. It was like
a revelation. I’ve always found it difficult to get up in the morning,
now, I have to say, it’s a breeze.
Since that day, whenever I find myself slipping into any old
negative physiology patterns, I sit up straight, put my shoulders back, smile and take a deep breath. It’s so simple, but makes a massive
difference. I use it all the time with my clients too and they are
astonished at how quickly they can change their state just by changing their
body language, breathing and facial expressions.
So here’s today’s exercise; for the next 3 days keep an eye
on your emotions. If you start to feel any negativity, observe what you
are doing with your physiology and change it. Put your shoulders back,
sit/stand up straight, take a deep breath in and smile. You’ll be amazed
at how quickly you move from negativity to positivity and the more you practice
this, the better you will be at it.
Trying to stay positive just through positive thinking alone
is (as I know a lot of you will have found) difficult because the thing about
positive thinking is that you have to think about it! By continually
adjusting your physiology when you notice any negative emotions/thoughts, will
greatly help in changing those old patterns of behaviour and move you towards
more natural positivity.
I’d be interested to know how you get on with this, so let
me know how you get on. You can always leave comments below or email me
at info@whatnextconsultancy.co.uk.
Jo
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